


You Can't Blame Me, Darling

by strawberryschaos



Category: Glee
Genre: Bisexual Jesse St. James, Blaine Anderson Is A Horny Idiot, Canon Divergence, Comedy, Jesse Is Rachel's Age Because I Said So, Jesse St. James Is A Snarky Little Shit, M/M, Rachel Being Done With Peoples' Shit For 750 Words, but that's just canon, these tags suck but this isn't going to get attention anyways so i don't care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:40:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28213299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryschaos/pseuds/strawberryschaos
Summary: Rachel walks in on Blaine and Jesse making out at a competition. Chaos ensues.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Jesse St. James
Kudos: 10





	You Can't Blame Me, Darling

**Author's Note:**

> Title is kinda lame it's from To Be So Lonely by Harry Styles 
> 
> I wrote this at 3am its just comedic stupidity keep your expectations low people

“Blaine Anderson I swear to god,” Rachel muttered, knocking hard on the dressing room door. After two more knocks with no response, she flung the door open. “Blaine I’m going to-” She froze, staring at the vanity counter where Blaine was sitting with Jesse standing between his legs, both far more undressed and disheveled than she had needed in her life today. 

Jesse and Blaine both stared back at her in shock, haphazardly attempting to make excuses. Rachel cut them both off by stepping into the room and shutting the door behind her. “You,” she pointed to Jesse, “ _ out _ . Blaine… we’re supposed to be onstage any minute, and you know if it were up to me I would have just gone on without you but  _ no _ , everyone else said otherwise so here I am making us all late and we’re going to look absolutely horrible and it is  _ all your fault _ .”

Jesse just raised his eyebrows at both of them and headed for the door, poking his head back in once he’d left to say, “Hey, leave the win for me would you? Senior year and all.” 

Rachel sputtered and huffed as the door shut behind Jesse, then shook her head. She grabbed her phone from her bag and called Kurt. Speaking all in one breath, she said, “I found Blaine, you’ll have to go on without us, do the group number first good luck see you soon I’ll explain later.”

She spent the next five minutes scrambling to make Blaine look presentable, cursing him out under her breath the whole time. She attacked him with makeup and filled his hair with an insane amount of gel, then dragged him into the wings. 

Meanwhile, Jesse had slipped back into the house and sat down at the end of a row filled with his fellow members of Vocal Adrenaline. The one nearest to him leaned up to his ear and whispered, “Berry wasn’t onstage in their first song, don’t tell me you-”

In the momentary blackout between their songs, Rachel yanked Blaine to their places and realized with horror as the lights came back up that, in all the chaos, she hadn’t gotten time to warm up and this was her solo.

Noticing Blaine as the lights rose, a rush went through Vocal Adrenaline (they’d all been speculating as to what their star performer was getting up to). “Oh my god, you didn’t,” hissed the member beside Jesse, only getting a sly smirk in return. 

Rachel bit her lip momentarily and stood straighter. She could wing it, it wasn’t ideal but it would be fine. And as she was starting to sing, drowning out the crowd and the others’ backup vocals and the heat of the lights, that seemed like it was going to be the case. 

But of course their luck had to run out somewhere. In the second to last verse, right when it seemed like they’d pulled this off after all, Rachel’s voice cracked terribly and then gave out completely. The only noise she could produce was a quiet croaky squeak. 

It was only silent for a second, Blaine stepping forward and doing his best to pick up the note (and quickly being joined by the others), but it was noticeable enough, and the anxiety they were all feeling was clear. 

They finished their song and the moment the lights were out they hurried backstage, gathering in the dressing room to await the judges’ verdict. They spent most of their time attempting to comfort a dramatically sobbing Rachel, with varying degrees of sincerity in their efforts. 

Eventually, they were all called onstage to hear the places. Aural Intensity was awarded third, and the New Directions perked up slightly. Everyone was holding their breaths as the first place winner was announced. After what seemed like an eternity, the announcer spoke. 

“And the winner is… Vocal Adrenaline!” 

The New Directions deflated as cheers erupted from beside them. Kurt gave Rachel a hug, mostly to keep her from starting up the waterworks again.

As they were waiting for their bus outside, Jesse approached Rachel and Blaine. He was holding the trophy and looking smug as ever. “Just wanted to make sure I thanked you both for letting us win. Blaine, you still down for our  _ plans _ on Friday?” 

Blaine nodded quickly, turning bright red as he felt the eyes of all his teammates on him. Jesse smirked, nodded in return, and sauntered back to his team. Blaine turned to face everyone, his eyes wide. 

“I can explain-” 


End file.
